Horses as Characters: In which Guinness is shown to really be Emperor Kuzco...

You know when you watch a movie and think to yourself "Whoa. This character is just like so-and-so!"? Well, I'm sure we've also had that moment with our horses. For me, that moment came when I described Pig's flying changes currently as feeling like an "inverted llama running down a hill."

And that's when I realized it... my horse is actually Emperor Kuzco from The Emperor's New Groove.

No lies. Check it out:

1. He can't deal with wet footing.
2. He likes to show off in front of others.
3. He believes others only exist to serve him.
4. I have to check him regularly to make sure he hasn't killed himself.
5. He would rather you simply exist around him than touch him.
6. He's a supremely picky eater.
7. Though he plays the flirt, he has nothing but disdain for potential field companions.
8. He does not believe he should get less than his way in the riding arena.
9. Flying changes are kind of terrifying...
10. He clacks his mouth on the bit incessantly, annoying everyone in earshot.
11. He's initially suspicious of people, but warms fairly quickly.
12. He is a really nice dancing dressage horse when he has his shit together.
13. But, he reacts poorly when I explain he cannot move so crooked in the dressage arena.
14. And when I finally make him straight he grinds his teeth in protest for the first 5 minutes.
15. And he overreacts when I'm crooked.
16. Which leads to every trainer ever yelling at me.
17. But he and I are always up for a proposed gallop session.
18. And he's always excited to go on trail rides.
19. So am I, because this is literally the only spook move he has.
20. And he is supremely confident when he arrives in new places.
21. Overall, I think he's just a cool horse with a big royal ego who prefers to do things his way.

What movie character is your horse most like?


  1. This is amazing! Stinker has some distinct qualities of Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory...I am really struggling with this realization that my horse might be Sheldon. :S

  2. This is so amazing. I bow down to you, Guinness.

  3. i <3 Guinness and his Big Royal Ego!!!

  4. This is hysterical. OMG. I want to do it...

  5. LOL this is hilarious! Poor emperor Pig, he is so misunderstood.

  6. Wow these were INCREDIBLE. I thoroughly enjoyed this. I have mentioned this on my blog before, but it might be worth doing a companion post. My horse's spirit animal is without question Melman, the giraffe from the Madagascar movies.

  7. OMG this may be one of my favorite blog posts ever. Literally laughing out loud bahahhahaha

  8. This made my week. So fabulous!

  9. And now I have been highly entertained for the morning!

  10. Lol one of my sister's horses is just like that.

  11. This is such a great idea!


Post a Comment