Sonka: Forever the Best Dog

Sonka
2006-2017

I didn't mention the illness of my black dog in my last post, though it has been the thing most weighing on my mind over the last month. There's something about your best friend facing death that can clam you up and keep you isolated, trying to protect both him and you.

At the end of March, Sonka suddenly collapsed at Emma's show. While it was immediately obvious something was seriously wrong, it wasn't until I was in the car on the way to the vet that I thought about how closely aligned his symptoms were to that of a human heart attack.

How tragically right I was.

Sonka, my 11 year old wild pinnacle of joy and energy, was found to have a significant bleeding heart tumor slowly pressuring his heart, crushing it and his life. While the vets worked on him, they gave me options. All were grim. His chances of survival were terrible, and the more invasive procedures could only give him a few more months with me. Months of possible pain and the same eventual outcome.

Knowing I couldn't subject him to that, I had the vet stabilize him and send him home. I knew the tumor would begin to bleed again and he would again collapse, an eventuality that could happen at any time. The vet gave him 30 minutes to a month to live. 

I decided to make the most of it, and so did he. Almost exactly a month of being thoroughly spoiled and loved, he again laid down and did not get up. He died in my arms a week ago Sunday, the very best of dogs until the very end.

The best of dogs, the best of friends, the best of partners. I miss you so.

He has been mightily remembered over the last week, which has been heartening. This medium sized black dog touched the lives of so many people. He made impressions wherever he went, and everyone loved him. The world is darker without his black coat shining in it, without his wild howling songs echoing over hills, and without his joyous feet pounding out miles alongside me.

No tribute to this dog could fully capture him, and perhaps that is for the best. His personality was much bigger than a group of words could attempt to hold. There are too many stories of his silliness, songs, crazy adventures, speed, curiosity, cuddly nature, majesty, joy, incredible athleticism, willfulness, soft coat, love of paper, intense intelligence, and protective nature to count. 

There are dogs you love, and there are dogs who take love to a new level. This black dog and I were were everything to each other. His unending devotion to me is something I never took for granted and could have never plumbed to the bottom. I miss him, and I always will. 

He will forever be my heart.