I just took a DNA Test...

"Turns out she's 100% that bitch."
So. There's been a snag in Bast's turnout assimilation. As expected. It's the mare.
"Yeah, I got boy mare problems, that's the human gelding in me."
Turns out Bast and the mare are completely obsessed with each other. It's supremely annoying.

Doing anything with Bast has spawned complete meltdowns if the mare gets more than 3ft from him. The moment we leave the pasture the pair of them begin screaming, disturbing the entire farm and surrounding county for the entirety of our ride. For a small sample of the sheer noise see below. Warning. Do not listen with headphones. You'll deafen yourself.

I think what's annoying is they are both screaming non stop.
"Hey, I'm glad you're back with your bitch.
I mean who would wanna hide this?
I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be your side chick.
I put the sing in single"
Honestly I'm kind of at my wits end with the pair of them. I'm hoping she comes out of heat soon, and things return to quasi normal. This is not sustainable heading into winter.
"Best friend sat me down in the salon chair. Shampoo press, get you out of my hair"
Unfortunately I'm not sure this is going to be an easy fix. I have some plans in the works, so stay tuned to see how those are working out. I really need this pasture situation to work, so my fingers are crossed. In the meantime, hope you enjoyed the Lizzo lyrics, because Truth Hurts.
"You coulda had a bad bitch."


  1. I fully approve of a Lizzo-based post in any circumstance, although lord it is annoying that you have to deal with this crap.

    1. Also can you please do a freestyle to her song Tempo? It would work better if Bast was a mare, since he's a thicc bitch, but if he keeps screaming like that it kinda works either way...

    2. Not gonna lie. I am 90% sure I can do a post on pretty much every single song on This is Lizzo right now. LOL.

  2. The Lizzo lyrics are everything. Ev-er-y-thing.

  3. The only thing I have found to work with Irish/Carmen is time. Also hay. :) but that probably won't work for you. When Irish used to scream (way back in the day) during riding every time he yelled I would make him do something hard.


    I'm sorry the mare is upsetting Bast's delicate brainz. Hope he finds them again soon!

  5. I love your "That's not even her" lolol! Yeah that really really sucks. Crossing my fingers that your plans work out.

  6. Time to remove his voice box lol - I seriously wonder if horse vets ever do it.


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