Thursday, March 19, 2015

Gravel down pants?

Last weekend, I coerced my husband into coming to ride horses with me. I had two to work, and too much research to spend time at the barn riding both of them separately. They also both needed mental arena breaks (me too!), and the dogs needed a good long walk.

Who am I kidding. There is no need to justify an hour long road hack on a 70° 
day in March.

So we tacked up the two horses. I put Christian on Guinness, and I took Darius. Guinness isn't really a dead broke trail horse, but I trust his shenanigans enough to put a greenie aboard. At least, I trust him enough if we stay on the road...

After all, we've been walking roads for years. Pig's best friend was once the FedEx guy!
Of course, riding on the roads can never be 100% safe, especially when the horse you are on doesn't have the years of experience of mine. Take, for example, the horse I was on.
Who? Me?
As we came up on a rather steep hill, an older man on a four-wheeler and a younger boy on a dirt bike crested the hill.
This hill, to be exact.
(Okay, okay. I know it's not really very steep. But it's, like, the ONLY hill in this part of Indiana. It's steep by comparison!)
Luckily the guys were nice enough to idle the engines and slow way down. As Darius started rearing and spinning under me, I took quick note that Guinness was not even giving the wheeled horse-eating monsters a second glance. Instead, he was carefully scanning the perimeter, as if trying to figure out what in the hell could be so terrifying to Darius. My husband was sitting hunched over, holding on to the saddle and waiting for something to happen. Nothing did.

Meanwhile, I felt Darius think about going from spinning to bolting, and I decided to jump off to avoid leaving Christian stranded with a worried Guinness. In the process of kicking my feet free, my left foot ended up getting stuck in the stirrup. So, I slow-fell onto my butt into the soft wet gravel.

It honestly didn't even hurt.

Darius bolted all of 10 yards, before remembering that I'm the nice lady with the treats. He turned right around to be caught.

The guys with the four-wheeler and the bike actually killed their engines for the whole thing and just sat quietly in the road. They were so respectful and wonderful; I must have thanked them a million times for being so great.

We ended up walking to the top of the hill, where I got back on. As soon as I got into the saddle, I realized there was a problem.

Guys. My pants were full of gravel.

Wet.

Heavy.

Gravel.

I did the only thing you can do in such a situation: I rode the two and half miles back to the barn with gravel down my pants.

And that's the story of how I had to take my breeches off on the back porch. You're welcome.

No pictures of the gravel in my pants (sorry?), but I did snap some photos from the ride. Enjoy!
Yes. My husband is flipping me off here for taking his photo, but isn't my horse ADORABLE?!
Happy Pig takes big huge walk steps! (And yet still forges...)
It makes me happy to see my horse so happy.
Don't lie. You think this looks fun, too. Maybe not Gravel Down Your Pants fun, but still.

37 comments:

  1. Ooph, just the thought makes me want to get up in half seat. Yow.

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  2. I'm beyond jealous. We just had 2 feet of snow fall on us yesterday. 2 feet! I have snow in places that don't bear mentioning! In 2012 in March the weather was in the 70s. GAH!

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  3. Bahaha. Is it mean that I laughed? I laughed. That happened to me once in college, I fell off and got arena sand down my pants, and then had to sit through an entire afternoon of classes because I didn't have a chance to change. I feel your pain. Giggle.

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    1. Nope. Not mean at all. I laughed pretty much all day.

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  4. omg noooooo!!! i've totally done the slow-fall from foot caught in stirrup and it suckssssss - so sorry!

    and sitting around with gravel (or sand or anything really) in your pants is the absolute pits. at list Guinness was a total star!

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    1. I fall so rarely, I'm always just happy with it's not serious. Honestly, the roads were so soft I was better off falling out there than in the arena!

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  5. 1. I love Darius' ridiculously kissable nose.
    2. I can't WAIT for the day that DH & I can go on trail rides together!!

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    1. Darius is pretty sweet. He needs somebody to take him home and love on him. ;)

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  6. Oh no! Anything down the pants when riding is seriously not fun. Glad Hubby went out with you! I can barely coax mine out to the barn....

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    1. I won't lie. There was a lot of coercion.

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  7. What a good sport everyone except Darius was!!

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  8. What a good sport everyone except Darius was!!

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    1. I can't blame Darius! Most horses lose their marbles when they see a dirt bike! He wasn't actually that bad, it was just me biffing my dismount that caused the fall. Derp!

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  9. Well obviously you had to ride it out, but here's hoping you have a standing desk for the next few days or something.

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  10. It should not be funny. I'm sorry I laughed! Glad you were able to keep riding and enjoy the great weather, even if it was a bit rocky.

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  11. Love that you and hubby took a ride together! I can only imagine this scenario with Riva, Cheers, and my better half...Riva would have bolted with a 'hang the hell on lady - we are out of here' and Cheers would still be spinning :) Glad ya'll came home alive!

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    1. Hahaha! There was a time that Guinness would have seen that bike, scooped me deep into the saddle, spun around, straight bolted for home, and screamed out "Don't worry!! I'll save us!"

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  12. Haha! I'm sorry to laugh, it's only funny because no one got hurt. You said you rode back with the gravel in your pants, and my first thought was "Gravel! Rubbing your saddle's seat through your pants!!! Ahhh!" I would have dismounted and pulled my pants down enough to get the gravel out on the side of the road, haha. But kudos to another TB who is an excellent trail/road horse. I hack Mikey on the road and trails all the time and everyone is like, 'You take a THOROUGHBRED out there? By himself?!' People just don't believe they can make excellent trail horses. Mikey isn't perfect either, but I figure if I can walk him on the buckle for an hour, he's pretty good.

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    1. Yay fellow TB trail ponies!

      The saddle was actually unscathed. I won't lie, I did sit pretty lightly for the rest of the ride!!

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  13. Belch! Looked like a fab day for a trail though!

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  14. None the less, it sounds like you had a good ride! I attempted to take my TB down the road on Tuesday. We made it half a mile down before he turned around and NOPED. He then became a fire breathing dragon. I need to figure out how to kill this habit he has.

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    1. Oh yeah. Been there. Time, patience, and repetition. I'll be honest, the buddy system works well, too. Also, don't discount dismounting and just going for hand walks in scary places.

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  15. Too funny, good you weren't hurt. Enjoyed visiting your blog.

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  16. LOL @ your hubby flipping you off

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  17. LOL I'm sorry but that's hilarious!! I'm glad you're okay!

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    1. It's always funny when no one gets hurt! :)

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  18. Gravel down the pants is never nice...wet gravel must be even worse Eurgh!
    Great that G behaved for hubby, love when you can trust them with loved ones

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